5 Signs of Moving from Surviving to Healing

How do we know we are healing and not just surviving? Let me share 5 signs of moving from surviving to healing.

The loss, the trauma, the painful experience turned our world upside down. Everyone goes through intense or prolonged periods of trauma, grief, and loss. Trauma shatters our inner worlds and often our outer worlds into pieces. Things have forever changed, and nothing is the same. We find ourselves sitting among the debris of our lives and wondering if we will ever heal and rebuild again.

5 Signs of Moving from Surviving to Healing

I have been in such a situation several times in my life. The last time was when I lost my husband, and with him my family and happy life. This was one of the most traumatic experiences for me that plunged me into the dark waters of grief and depression. In the first months and years, I was barely surviving. But then, slowly and somehow invisibly, subtle changes and shifts occurred, paving my road from bare survival to healing and restoration.

Here are 5 signs of moving from surviving to healing. It is difficult to draw an exact line between just surviving and the start of rebuilding. These two phases often go in parallel for quite some time. But here are several internal spiritual, emotional, and mental shifts and external shifts that show we are healing.

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Are you surviving or healing? Here are 5 signs of moving from surviving to healing after trauma. #healing #growth #hope Share on X

The Changes Showing That You Are Healing

#1 Deeper Surrender

One of the most important internal signs of stepping into the deep healing and rebuilding stage after trauma is the deeper surrender to God’s authority, will, plans, and purposes. This involves giving Him the right to be God and do what He pleases in our lives. This is an essential step to start making sense of and integrating our traumatic stories into our life’s narrative.

Going into deeper surrender is a journey to humility and involves letting go of our desires, plans, dreams, and most of all, of the life we had before the trauma. This strengthens our willingness and readiness to trust the Lord again in the area of struggle and pain.

The book of Job powerfully illustrates this journey of surrender and humility. We are healing when we can say like Job: “I know that you can do all things; no purpose of yours can be thwarted. You asked, ‘Who is this that obscures my plans without knowledge?’ Surely I spoke of things I did not understand, things too wonderful for me to know.” (Job 42:2-3, NIV)

#2 Dealing with and Healing of Anger and Disappointment

The next sign of being in a phase of healing and restoration is dealing with and healing our anger and disappointment. Trauma and loss evoke complex feelings of grief. Anger and disappointment are part of this trauma response. We often experience anger towards God (for allowing the trauma to happen), or anger towards ourselves (for not preventing the trauma), or anger towards others (if they are involved in the trauma). We may feel deep disappointment about how our lives have developed and disappointment with God, ourselves, and others.

Choosing to face our anger and disappointment and deal with them is a step towards healing. This usually involves acknowledgment of these feelings and the practice of forgiveness and acceptance. The more we practice forgiveness and acceptance, the more peace we will feel instead of anger and disappointment, and this is a sign of internal freedom.

“Get rid of all bitterness, rage and anger, brawling and slander, along with every form of malice. Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as in Christ God forgave you.” (Ephesians 4:31-32, NIV)

#3 Change of Perspectives and Mindsets

One of the most important signs that we are healing is the change in our thinking. This involves changing our perspectives and even mindsets, which leads to transformative mental and emotional shifts. The way to do this is to study and meditate on the truths of God’s word and allow the Holy Spirit to enlighten and renew our minds and hearts.

Here is an example from my journey while healing from the trauma of infertility: I gained the understanding that all women are called to mother, regardless of whether they have biological children or not. Another mental shift to overcome the mindset of barrenness was to believe that if I am united with the Lord, I will be fruitful.

“Do not conform to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God’s will is—his good, pleasing and perfect will.” (Romans 12:2, NIV)

One of the most important signs that we are healing is the change in our thinking. #healing #growth #mentalhealth Share on X

#4 Acceptance and Orientation to the Future

When we are in the phase of surviving, we are primarily oriented to the past. It seems we can’t escape the past trauma, reliving it again and again. Our thoughts are oriented towards this past traumatic experience that occupies an enormous part of our mental and emotional space.

But when we begin to heal, we free up space in our minds, and we start living more aware of the present, and we even start imagining our future. We live more future-oriented than past-oriented, and can process the past and leave the past to the past by submitting to God’s sovereign will.

“Brothers and sisters, I do not consider myself yet to have taken hold of it. But one thing I do: Forgetting what is behind and straining toward what is ahead, I press on toward the goal to win the prize for which God has called me heavenward in Christ Jesus.”  (Philippians 3:13-14, NIV)

When we are healing, we start living more future-oriented than past-oriented, and can leave the past to the past by submitting to God’s sovereign will.  #healing #growth #hope Share on X

#5 The Birth of New Things and Feelings

The last sign that we are in the phase of healing and restoration is the external changes in our lives and the birth of new things: new relationships, new activities, new routines. A new pattern has emerged from the debris, and our lives have taken a new shape. We began again to experience feelings of joy, pleasure, and delight. We have more hope and peace.

God is the master of recreation and of doing new things. We can trust that He has a beautiful plan for rebuilding our ruins and turning them into a flourishing life.

“Forget the former things; do not dwell on the past. See, I am doing a new thing! Now it springs up; do you not perceive it? I am making a way in the wilderness and streams in the wasteland.” (Isaiah 43:18-19, NIV)

We Heal When We Draw Near to God

If you want to learn more about how God used my losses, grief, and other painful experiences to transform and bless me, my book,“Draw Near: How Painful Experiences Become the Birthplace of Blessings,” is for you. Let me take you on a journey through 13 painful experiences, showing losses and the precious blessings in each of them.

More Encouragement for You

If you need more resources, encouragement, and comfort when you go through pain, grief, and despair, I can highly recommend these books. Check them out.

Trusting God in All the Things: 90 Devotions for Finding Peace in Your Every Day by Karen Ehman and Ruth Schwenk

The Night Is Normal by Dr. Alicia Britt Chole

Make Up Your Mind: Unlock Your Thoughts, Transform Your Life by Denise Dubois Pass and Michelle Nietert

Life Can Be Good Again by Lisa Appelo

It’s Not Supposed to Be This Way by Lisa Terkeurst

Hope When Life Unravels: Finding God When It Hurts by Adam Dooley

Restoration Year – a 365 Days Devotional by John Eldredge

All Things New by John Eldredge

Hope for the Hard Days by Sarah Geringer

Lean into Grace by Stacey Pardoe

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Your Turn

Can you recognize some of these signs on your journey to healing? Share in the comments and on social media if you found this article helpful. Thank you!

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A Reminder of who I am

A post-traumatic and spiritual growth coach helping trauma survivors find deep mental and emotional healing through a faith-based approach. An award-winning bilingual author of 5 books and co-author of 14 more, I love encouraging the broken-hearted to partner with God so they can endure and grow in the dark valleys of life. Featured on nearly 100 faith-based platforms and podcasts, I am a hope-bringing speaker and writer at onthewaybg.com, a Top 100 Faith Blog ranked by Feedspot in 2025 and 2026.

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