Do you struggle with bitterness and resentment in your relationships? We are all hurt people. And we also hurt people. It is especially difficult when we are hurt or betrayed by the closest people: parents, marriage partners, closest friends.
I am honored to share an encouraging story from my life about breaking free from bitterness and resentment at KellyRBaker.com today.
A Story of Breaking Free from Bitterness and Resentment
“Get rid of all bitterness, rage and anger, brawling, and slander, along with every form of malice. Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as in Christ God forgave you.“ (Ephesians 4:31-32)
One of the most difficult things in life is to keep our hearts free from bitterness and resentment in relationships. When the pain and hurt engulf us, it seems impossible to imagine that one day it will stop hurting and our hearts will be whole again.
But by living yielded to God, we can get free from bitterness and resentment, and our hearts, and even the relationships, can thrive again. Here is an encouraging example from my journey to freedom from bitterness and resentment in the relationship with my father.
By living yielded to God, we can get free from bitterness and resentment, and our hearts and relationships can thrive again. #ThrivingInChrist #testimony #spiritualgrowth @LiveYielded Share on X
Traumas – Open Doors to Bitterness
My childhood and teenage years were not easy, living in a constant terror of my father. He used to terrorize us with his aggressive and abusing words and behavior. I learned early to suppress my real feelings, thoughts, and opinions in order to survive. I dreamed of the time when I would be an adult and leave the house of my parents, finally breaking free.
This time came, but unfortunately, I was not free. The deep wound that my father inflicted produced a bitter fruit and continued to poison my life. I harbored resentful, disrespectful, and hateful feelings towards him. It was difficult to trust and respect men, and my identity was crippled by believing many of the things he said and did to me. I even struggled with suicidal thoughts.
Help from Above
In my most desperate time, God found me. I gave my life to Jesus when I was 17 years old. The truth that I have a heavenly Father who loves me unconditionally and who will never abuse me and control me, but instead support and encourage me till the end, was a fountain of life to me. It pulled me back from the edge of the pit I was about to throw myself and gave me meaning and a reason to live. But this was just the beginning.
Read the rest of the story at KellyRBaker.com and be strengthened and encouraged.
If you want to learn more about my story from childhood up to the present tracing the beautiful thread of Jesus in my life, you can listen to this podcast interview.
How God Uses the Darkness of Pain and Suffering to Bless Us
You can learn more about why and how God uses pain and hardships to shape us and bless us in my book, “Draw Near: How Painful Experiences Become the Birthplace of Blessings.”
Do you want to draw near to God when you are tempted to pull away amidst painful and traumatic experiences? Do you long for the transformation of your painful story into a story of preparation, empowerment, fruitfulness, and growth?
Let me take you on a journey through 13 painful experiences, showing the precious blessings in each of them.
More Encouragement for You
If you need more resources, encouragement, and comfort when you go through pain, suffering, and shaking, I highly recommend these books. Check them out.
Trusting God in All the Things: 90 Devotions for Finding Peace in Your Every Day by Karen Ehman and Ruth Schwenk
Make Up Your Mind: Unlock Your Thoughts, Transform Your Life by Denise Dubois Pass and Michelle Nietert
Life Can Be Good Again by Lisa Appelo
It’s Not Supposed to Be This Way by Lisa Terkeurst
Hope When Life Unravels: Finding God When It Hurts by Adam Dooley
Restoration Year – a 365 Days Devotional by John Eldredge
All Things New by John Eldredge
Hope for the Hard Days by Sarah Geringer
Lean into Grace by Stacey Pardoe
This page contains affiliate links, which means I make a small commission at no extra cost to you. The commission I make from these items will help keep this blog going. Thank you!
Your Turn
Where are you on your journey to freedom from bitterness and resentment? If this story encouraged you, I would be happy if you share this on social media and in the comments. Thank you!
Want to know more about me before you sign up? You can read about me HERE and check my books HERE.
The truth that I have a heavenly Father who loves me unconditionally and will never abuse me or control me, but instead support and encourage me, has been a fountain of life to me. #encouragement #ChristianLiving #healing @LiveYielded Share on X
Totally can relate and I am glad that you’ve found God! For me, sometimes I thought I’ve already let go the resentment already, but few years down the road, I can still feel that. Seems that letting go is really not an easy thing for me
Thanks for sharing your experience, Hannah! Yes, I can relate. Letting go is a process and we need to practice it all the time.
Check out this book called Christians and Strongholds. By Kim Haney. Great teaching on how we get our “giants” and how we get rid of them. Amazon sells them.
Thanks for this book recommendation! Sounds like a great resource!
A really hopeful and motivational story! Beautiful post!
Thanks for sharing!
Thanks for your kind words, Sarah! I am glad that it has encouraged you.
Bitterness and resentment won’t do you any good! I’ve learned it the hard way and have finally broken free from it! I’m so glad I did because life is so much easier and happier without those limiting beliefs.
Thanks so much for sharing your thoughts, Mae! True – life is easier and happier when we don’t harbour bitternerss and resentment!
Thank you for sharing your story. Breaking free is a wonderful feeling. Sending you a hug!
Thanks so much, Gina!
What a story! I like the way you told part of it, then encouraged readers to hop on over to the other blog to finish. Thanks for sharing your story of overcoming with God’s help.
Thanks for your encouraging words, Lysa! I hope the story will help the readers to start or continue their own journey of breaking free from bitterness and resentment.
I’ve had the hardest time letting go of bitterness and resentment. I’ve had to turn to God many times and ask Him to help me and soften my heart. Thank you for this beautiful reminder of how harmful these 2 things really are.
Thank you for sharing your experience, Michelle! Yes, we need God’s help to set our hearts free and bind up our wounds.
Such a wise observation that we are not truly free just because the abuse stops. But rather we have to sink into forgiveness to truly be free! <3 Blessings!
Thank you, Liz! Yes, freedom has much more to do with the condition of our hearts than with our external circumstances!
Thank you for sharing your story with us. “Focusing on the hurt leads to bitterness and resentment” is so very true. We are dearly loved children of God and should focus on HIM, HIS grace and HIS support. As you described in your post.
Thank you for your encouraging comment! So true – what we focus on matters. It is so important to train ourselves to focus on God’s truths and love.
It’s so true that harboring bitterness and resentment only hurts ourselves. In most cases, the other person is completely oblivious to your feelings and you are the one who ends up tortured in the end. I’m so happy to hear that you have made strides in overcoming this in your own life! It is definitely something which is easier said than done and especially difficult when it involves a parent. Thank you so much for sharing your inspiring story!
Thank you so much, Amanda! Yes, bitterness and resentment are the real enemies, not the person who has hurt us. We are responsible for our hearts and we can find healing in freedom if we really want this.
Good read. It’s often times difficult to let go of disappointment and hurt especially when it comes from a family member. I’ve found that setting boundaries has helped me in forgiving and moving on. Thanks for sharing.
Thanks, Ana! True – boundaries in our relationships are so important for our well-being and growth. I read a great book on this topic – “Boundaries” from Dr. Cloud and Dr. Townsend. I can only recommend!