Do you feel disappointed by God? It happens often that the disappointment with life, people, and circumstances grows into disappointment with God. The condition of disappointment with God can slip through the door of unanswered prayers, unfulfilled expectations, and extinguished hopes. It can enter and remain through the door of heavy, unexpected losses and tragedies. Such events, that leave us shaken at the core and question all our beliefs.
Disappointment with God – Examples in the Bible
In the Bible, we find many examples of people who feel disappointed at a certain period of their lives. The brightest example of this is Job. After losing his fortune, his children, and his health, within a very short period, Job’s faith faces a terrible trial.
In the book “Ruth”, we meet Naomi who faces a similar problem after losing her husband and her two sons. On her return from Moab to her native Judea where she seeks salvation from hunger, she gives the following response to the people’s interest in her fate.
“Don’t call me Naomi (meaning pleasant), she told them. Call me Mara, (meaning bitter) because the Almighty has made my life very bitter. I went away full, but the LORD has brought me back empty. Why call me Naomi? The LORD has afflicted me; the Almighty has brought misfortune upon me.” (Ruth 1:20-21)
It is clear that in her thoughts and perceptions, God is the source of her losses, misery, and poverty. Respectively she makes Him the source of her anger and disappointment.
It happens often that the disappointment with life, people, and circumstances grows into disappointment with God. #disappointed #God #BibleTeaching #bgbg2 Share on XDisappointment with God – a Real-life Example
People nowadays can also relate. Let’s take one example. Kalina is a middle-aged woman who sincerely follows God and strives to do what is right. Unfortunately, Kalina has had a very difficult life since her childhood. Her parents divorced when she was in her teens and her father stopped keeping in touch with her. Kalina got married, but she has had a difficult relationship with her husband. He is a cold, emotionally distant person and as such unable to provide the necessary support and love.
Later life hits Kalina severely within a few years. She got breast cancer, her mother is dead, and Kalina’s dreams and expectations for a better and more peaceful life collapse. Kalina’s children also disappoint her with her personal and professional choices. Loss after loss, blow after blow – the disappointment with life, her husband, and her children’s development undermined Kalina’s faith and trust in God. It is becoming harder for her to trust Him and keep hoping.
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Disappointment with God – Characteristics
The state of disappointment with God, especially among believers, is usually hidden and difficult to discern. Its root is a deception and a lie that has huge negative consequences. The deception consists of distorting the character and personality of God, attributing to Him evil motives, passivity, insensitivity, cruelty, and so on.
“He would crush me with a storm and multiply my wounds for no reason. He would not let me catch my breath but would overwhelm me with misery. When a scourge brings sudden death, He mocks the despair of the innocent.” (Job 9:17, 18, 23)
Another basic lie is that it is not possible to please Him, and in the slightest offense, He brings punishment after punishment. Everything that happens in our lives begins to look like a cycle of crime and punishment. This, in its essence, is the Old Testament law.
However, Christ has completely fulfilled this Law and abolished its decrees. “He forgave us all our sins, having cancelled the charge of our legal indebtedness, which stood against us and condemned us; he has taken it away, nailing it to the cross.” (Colossians 2:1)
Negative Consequences of the Disappointment on Our Relationship with God
A lie leads to another ten lies, so they build a whole structure of lies that change our worldview and attitude toward everything. This naturally affects our attitude towards God and communication with Him. It is difficult for us to trust and to communicate with Him, and to exercise faith.
Moreover, since this is the foundation and the medium of our communication with Him, it becomes undermined and even temporarily suspended. It is very difficult, even impossible, to trust and wait for help from someone by whom we feel disappointed and even consider the source of our problems.
However, in this way, we deprive ourselves and restrict our access to the only true Helper, Friend, and Protector.
Negative Consequences of the Disappointment on the Attitude towards Oneself
The lie about the personality and character of God caused by disappointment can develop into lies about one’s own personality.
When a person is disappointed with life, people, and circumstances, and this disappointment has been left unchecked to develop, it also begins to change one’s vision of self.
The person begins to perceive himself as unloved, abandoned, a failure, and not needed. His or her value shakes and drops down, and he or she begins to question his own identity. There is confusion, doubt, chaos, and turmoil.
Negative Consequences of the Disappointment on Our Relationships with Others
The distorted attitude towards oneself also affects the relationships with others. Especially when the disappointment is connected with people, who are close to us.
Disappointment, traumas not properly healed, and unforgiveness lead to the erection of inner walls, isolation, and difficulty in giving and receiving love. Worse yet, when it becomes a permanent state.
One can become accustomed to living in a state of permanently being offended; even to get addicted to this condition. Then such a person fully accepts the role of a victim, to whom all people owe and on whom nothing depends. In this way, the identity is replaced by a false one. When the offense is in control, the person perceives himself through it and identifies with it.
Conclusion
We see that the root of the disappointment and its transfer to God have long-lasting and very serious negative consequences on our whole personality and all spheres of life. The deceptions resulting from disappointment with God sow death and deprive us of the life God desires for us to have.
It is important to recognize this condition and to return to the position of inviolable and unshakable confidence in God’s goodwill and love for us, as well as in the eternal truths of His character. In the next post, we will take a detailed look at the way of returning and delivering from the state of disappointment with God.
A Helpful Resource to Process Disappointment
Do you want to change and transform the way you think about your disappointments? This e-book “How to Overcome Disappointment and Discouragement” dives deeper into this topic. You will learn about the role of our expectations, desires, rights, and needs, as well as the role of false beliefs, and more biblical steps to overcome disappointments. Click here to get it into your email box today!
More Encouragement for You
you need more resources, encouragement, and comfort in handling your disappointments, I can highly recommend these books. Check them out.
Trusting God in All the Things: 90 Devotions for Finding Peace in Your Every Day by Karen Ehman and Ruth Schwenk
Make Up Your Mind: Unlock Your Thoughts, Transform Your Life by Denise Dubois Pass and Michelle Nietert
Life Can Be Good Again by Lisa Appelo
It’s not supposed to Be This Way by Lisa Terkeurst
Hope When Life Unravels: Finding God When It Hurts by Adam Dooley
Restoration Year – a 365 Days Devotional by John Eldredge
All Things New by John Eldredge
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Your Turn
Do you struggle with disappointment with God? In which areas? What was your biggest disappointment in life? You are welcome to share and comment!
The deceptions resulting from disappointment with God sow death and deprive us of the life God desires for us to have. #disappointed #God #BibleTeaching #bgbg2 Share on X
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I was 14 years old when disappointment in God took root in me. I was raised in the church and dont recall a time where I didnt know and believe who Jesus is. Even as a child I had an unwaivering faith .
My mom suddenly became ill and ended up in the hospital. She was not conscious and was in icu. The doctors had told us there was nothing more they could do. I recall my family standing around her bed, holding hands and praying for her healing. We prayed in Jesus name. I ended up going to a family member’s house to get some sleep.. when I walked out of that hospital, I had ZERO doubt that she was going to be ok, because God’s word said whatever we ask believing in Jesus name we shall have. And my little heart believed that with everything in me.
My older brothers showed up very early the next morning to pick me up. I remember sitting in between them..no one was saying anything.. then it came..my mom had passed away..I remember the utter shock and disbelief….In silence I laid my head on my brothers shoulder. My, immediate first thought was “but we prayed in Jesus name” At that moment disappointment took root in me, a destructive mindset.. With this trauma and the trauma that followed, the only way my 14 year old brain could “make sense of it” was to blame myself not God.. It was my fault..
Gods word is truth, how could I negate that? It had to be my fault…I was being punished and if I was being punished it must be because Im bad.
Fast forward over 40 years and here I am, still wrestling with this. Ive struggled over the years in my walk. Its been easy for me to have faith in things for other people and at times even for myself. But when it came to me, I always felt an underlying doubt..a sense of dread cast a shadow at times over my life..always waiting for the other shoe to drop as they say..that deep down, buried sense of being bad and not worthy of anything..
The Holy Spirit has revealed all of this to me recently…He took me back to that day, that moment when it took root…My adult mind knows that this contradicts Gods character, His word and the complete work of the cross..but its this gnarled up ugly thing that took root long ago that has held me back from stepping into the purpose God has for me.
How do I surrender this and get back to that childlike faith that His promises are yes and amen for me too?
Hi Angela! Thanks so much for sharing your story and your heart! I am so very sorry for the loss of your mom and how this loss has led to disappointment and bitterness. But I want to encourage you that by the power of the Holy Spirit you can find healing from this trauma and restored trust in God.
I have experienced a similar trauma, when my husband had an emergency heart op last year and despite a lot of people praying for him, he died from op complications. His premature death has plunged me into a season of sorrow and grief and also disillusionment in faith. After a lot of struggle, I decided to accept his death and not hold it against God, and to trust His sovereignty, wisdom, and love. This decision has helped me not to grow bitter but to cleave to God with renewed dedication. You can do this too trusting that God wants to heal your heart and give you a future and purpose. Praying for you, for restoration and healing and strengthening of your faith!
I have definitely had disappointments in my life–I know they are usually (always?) the result of me putting my hope in a person or situation going the way I want, rather than in God. It is so important to examine ourselves and invite the Holy Spirit to show us our hearts and thoughts so that we don’t fall into “disappointment in God.” That is not where want to be and leads to us doubting God’s goodness. Thank you for this important post.
Thank you for sharing your thoughts! I fully agree – when we fail to examine ourselves and let small and big disappointments go unchecked, then we are heading in a dangerous direction. The best way is always to process our hurts and disappointments with God, applying the truths in His word.
I’ve had massive disappointment unfold in my life over the past 3 years. Loss of home, estranged from a daughter, grandchildren and more heartache! It’s a daily, hourly & minute by minute struggle. Some days are better then others. I have no where to go and no one else rely on. He is my Defender!
Thanks for sharing here, Rene! I am so sorry to hear about all these losses and heartbreaks you have experienced!! I pray for you, sister! Most of all that God protects your heart from sinking in dispair and bitterness, and for His timely provision for all your needs – physical, emotional and spiritual. And for re-conciliation and healing of your broken relationships! Please, remember – you are not alone and isolated, God sees you and He is defending your cause! May be you can reach out for some people as well… We need each other, even if we disappoint us so often. A special greeting for you with Psalm 62.
Thank you for the kind words & prayers!