Praying to a God Who Understands

Do you know that we are praying to a God who understands? Find out what the Psalms teach us about praying through pain in this beautiful post by guest author Elise Tegegne.

I don’t think I’ll ever forget the first time I saw the diagnosis penned in doctor-scribble: infertility. My husband and I had known this was true by the medical definitions; we had failed to achieve a pregnancy after more than twelve months. But seeing the reality of our shared disease on paper, my heart sagged into my stomach.

My husband and I praise God for the miraculous birth of our son over four years ago, but our second pregnancy ended in miscarriage. Nothing we have tried since—not the seven doctors we’ve consulted, not the anointing oil, not the prescriptions crowding our medicine cabinet, not the countless blood tests, not even our fervent prayers—has resulted in a baby.

In this painful season, it has often been difficult to know how or what to pray. But God, as the Good Shepherd, gently led me to the Psalms. The rhythmic practice of reading these prayers morning and evening has shaped not only how I pray, but the very essence of my heart.

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Praying to a God Who Understands

We pray to a tender God who fully understands the razor of pain in all of its forms. Jesus entered earth in a human body and—from the fraught moments when Mary pushed His tiny body through the birth canal—knew suffering.

Some traditions hold that the Psalms were the prayers of Jesus, giving insight into His vulnerability and consecrating our anguished cries to God. The most poignant expression of Jesus’s pain—suffering on the cross—was taken from Psalm 22.

Death by crucifixion was not only physical (“They have pierced my hands and feet–I can count all my bones,” [Psalm 22:17]). It was social (“But I am a worm and not a man, / scorned by mankind and despised by the people,” [Psalm 22:6]) and emotional (“My heart is like wax; / it is melted within my breast,” [Psalm 22:14b]).

Above all, it was spiritual; separated from intimacy with His Father, Jesus cried out, “My God, my God, why have you forsaken me?” (Psalm 22:1). We pray to a compassionate High Priest who fully sympathizes with our weaknesses—and, more than any human friend—understands (Hebrews 4:15).

The Gift of Lament

One of the greatest graces during this season of infertility has been the gift of lament. One of my favorite pastors defines lamentation as “a prayer of pain that leads to trust.” Reading the raw honesty of the Psalms, we see that we have even more freedom of expression than we might realize. The Psalmist cries out:

“O Lord, why do you cast my soul away?

Why do you hide your face from me?

Afflicted and close to death from my youth up,

I suffer your terrors; I am helpless.

Your wrath has swept over me;

your dreadful assaults destroy me. “ (Psalm 88:14-16)

This Psalm ends in dissonance, refusing to gloss over the throbbing pain with glib positivity or even theological truths. Like the Psalmist, we can express to God all of the rage, confusion, and sorrow darkening our hearts—and God promises to hear us (Psalm 34:17).

Praying to a God Who Is Close

Beyond liberating us to express the deepest abysses of our sorrow to God, the Psalms also gently lead us to pray healing truths.

God is near to the broken-hearted (Psalm 34:18) and cradles us in His arms (Psalm 28:9). The Psalms say that God even collects our tears in a bottle (Psalm 56:8).

What a profoundly intimate image! Here is Jesus kneeling next to us as we weep, so close we feel His body heat, hear the rhythm of His breath, see the scars on His palms.

Jesus’s eyes are trained on ours, watching for each emerging tear. He catches the falling drops, His horizontal index finger brushing our eyelids with utmost delicacy. Our tears now moisten the holy fingers that broke bread and multiplied fish and healed lepers.

Our tender and attentive God welcomes us to mourn with Him. Our pain is an invitation to intimacy.

Our tender and attentive God welcomes us to mourn with Him. Our pain is an invitation to intimacy. #grief #prayers #trustGod Share on X

Prayers of Praise

Many of the Psalms hinge on a key shift: from lamentation to praise. And the crux of this shift often rests in remembering, again and again, God’s character.

“I will remember the deeds of the Lord; yes, I will remember your wonders of old.I will ponder all your work,  and meditate on your mighty deeds,” (Psalm 77:11-12).

We pray to a holy God whose ways are higher than our ways, whose thoughts are higher than our thoughts (Is. 55:9). We pray to a God who is great, who works wonders and miracles (Psalm 77:13-14), whose effusive love fills the earth (Psalm 119:64).

Recalling who God is helps us to trust Him fully, even when life doesn’t make sense.

A Posture of Waiting on God

One of the greatest questions that has arisen during this time of infertility has been: what, or who, are you waiting for?

If I am waiting for another child, my desire may be unfulfilled. Putting my hopes on another positive pregnancy test would be precarious at best and idolatrous at worst. But the Psalms anchor my prayers in divine hope (Psalm 27:14).

If my hope is in the Lord, my hopes will remain unshaken. The God who understands pain, who hears our cries, who is close, who works wonders, will always be faithful (Psalm 36:5).

Every morning, God lavishes us with new morning mercies (Lamentations 3:22-23). He is abundantly available to help in time of need (Psalm 46:1). And one day we will be with the Creator of the Universe, the tender Lover of Our Souls, face to face (Psalm 17:15).

If we entrust our lives—even and especially the painful seasons— to Jesus, we can rest in the knowledge that the end of all of our stories will be good.

If my hope is in the Lord, my hopes will remain unshaken. #hope #trustGod Share on X

Meet Elise Tegegne

Mama, editor, and writer Elise Tegegne has published articles at Risen Motherhood, Christian Parenting, and (in)courage, among others. Her first book In Praise of Houseflies: Meditations on the Gifts in Everyday Quandaries is now available at Amazon, Barnes & Noble, and Calla Press. In addition to serving as the Director of Communications for missions organization Synergie Francophone, she also writes a monthly blog, which inspires readers to cultivate eyes for the divine in their own daily difficulties. After teaching at a mission school for four years in Ethiopia, she now lives stateside with her husband and energetic four-year-old. Read more of her words at elisetegegne.com or reach out on social media @elisetegegne.

More Encouragement for You

If you need more resources and encouragement to help you draw near to God in your pain and struggles, I can highly recommend these books. Check them out.

Draw Near: How Painful Experiences Become the Birthplace of Blessings by Hadassah Treu

Trusting God in All the Things: 90 Devotions for Finding Peace in Your Every Day by Karen Ehman and Ruth Schwenk

Transforming Your Thought Life by Sarah Geringer

Numbering Our Days:  Combating Anxiety in the Power of Small Intentional Moments by Nichole J. Suvar

Make Up Your Mind: Unlock Your Thoughts, Transform Your Life by Denise Dubois Pass and Michelle Nietert

Life Can Be Good Again by Lisa Appelo

It’s Not Supposed to Be This Way by Lisa Terkeurst

Hope When Life Unravels: Finding God When It Hurts by Adam Dooley

Restoration Year – a 365-Day Devotional by John Eldredge

The Garden Within by Dr. Anita Phillips

Hope for the Hard Days by Sarah Geringer

Lean into Grace by Stacey Pardoe

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Your Turn

Have you experienced God as the One who understands and comforts you in your pain? Share in the comments and on social media if you found this post helpful. Thanks!

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