The Art of Emotional Connection

Do you know that we can learn the art of emotional connection, which plays a crucial role in emotional healing and well-being?

The majority of us have experienced traumas, leaving us struggling with the various trauma effects in our minds, bodies, and emotions.

One of the major trauma effects on our souls is the emotional disconnect. It can surface at all three major relationship levels: with ourselves, with God, and with others.

For example, as a result of experiencing verbal and physical abuse as a child and a teenager, I experienced emotional disconnection with my own body and soul, and my own needs and desires.

I lived many years in this condition until my 30s, when my true healing journey began by the power and grace of God. It was a journey of self- and God-discovery, and a restoration of my relationships with myself, God, and others.

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The Art of Emotional Connection

Acknowledging the emotional disconnect and learning the art of emotional connection in all our relationships is a central part of our emotional healing journey.

Emotional connection is the heart of emotional well-being.

As believers, we sometimes tend to bypass our emotions spiritually, seeking spiritual solutions to our emotional needs and struggles.  However, we need to understand the relationship between the heart and spirit, and that emotions are an integral part of spiritual growth and well-being.

We are made in the image of our Creator, who gives us a glimpse not only of His thoughts and plans but mainly of His heart. The Bible often speaks of God’s heart and emotions and of how He relates to us. 

Emotional connection is the heart of emotional well-being. #emotions #emotionalhealth #mentalhealth Share on X

6 Steps to Emotional Healing and Well-being

Here are several helpful steps on the path to emotional healing and well-being that don’t bypass our minds and spirits.

The first 3 steps are steps of preparation, setting an emotional and mental framework in which we can practice the art of emotional connection.

#1 Acknowledging the emotional disconnect

The first step is always to become aware of the problem. Avoidance is not an act of faith. But acknowledging the emotional disconnect is.

Where is the disconnect, and how is it expressed? Do we feel disconnected with ourselves, or with God, or with certain people in our lives?

#2 Researching the reasons

The next step is reflecting on the reasons for the emotional disconnect.  For example, this could be the lies that we believe about emotions.

Many people believe there are bad emotions like sadness, depression, anger, fear, and shame that need to be suppressed and controlled.

Another common lie is that emotions are a sign of weakness.

A third misconception is that we can think our emotions, and by thinking certain thoughts, we can stop feeling a certain emotion and start feeling something else.

#3 Replacing the lies with the truth

Here comes into play the heart-mind connection. Our thinking, our beliefs, and how we think about our emotions are crucial.

Do we accept our emotions? All of them? Why not? 

Here is one basic truth to step on: we are emotional beings made for emotional connection.

God has given us the ability to feel many different emotions so we can better connect with Him, ourselves, and others.

Feeling and expressing our emotions is a path to intimacy and well-being.

Feeling and expressing our emotions is a path to intimacy and well-being. #emotions #emotionalhealing #mentalhealth #faith Share on X

#4 Trying to name and feel our emotions

After this emotional and mental check, we can move and start practicing the art of emotional connection. 

We start by establishing an emotional connection with ourselves.  What do we feel? Where in the body do you sense it, and how? Is it a heaviness in the chest? Or a burning in the stomach?

Name it. Feel it. Let it flow through the body. Don’t analyze it. Don’t be ashamed of it.

#5 Expressing our emotions in the presence of the Lord

After establishing an emotional connection with ourselves, it is time to come into the presence of the Lord and emotionally connect with Him.

When we experience joyful emotions, we can share them with the Lord, clothing them with praise and thanksgiving.

But when we struggle with painful emotions like sadness, anger, or fear, we can unburden ourselves in the presence of the Lord by being completely honest and transparent. Why?

The Lord is our safest person: not condemning, not judging, always loving, always willing to comfort. He already knows our feelings and thoughts. He knows us intimately and deeply. We can be fully ourselves with Him. And He can take the burden.

The psalms of lament in the Bible are very helpful in bringing our painful emotions to the Lord, especially when we are at a loss for words.

#6 Expressing emotions in the presence of others

Finally, we can practice the art of emotional connection with the other people in our lives. It is a dual process.

On one side, we can allow ourselves and learn to express emotions in the presence of others, and on the other side, we can learn not to be afraid of the emotions of others.

So often, we miss the chance to connect and love another human being because of the emotional discomfort of responding to their emotions. But we can follow our compassionate Lord, and learn to sit and be present, and share in the painful emotions of a hurting soul. 

We connect emotionally with others by talking, listening, crying, laughing, being present, and giving and receiving the comfort of a physical touch like a hug.

The Power of Emotional Connection for Our Wellbeing

Practicing authentic emotional connection in all our relationships is indispensable for our well-being and spiritual growth.

We can all learn and practice the art of emotional connection:  acknowledge, feel, talk, and express.

Emotions are vital, but the key is to pursue a balance between mind and emotions, between our thoughts and feelings.

This is the path to shalom (the biblical definition of true peace, prosperity, and wholeness); the path to flourish spiritually, emotionally, mentally, and physically.

Practicing authentic emotional connection in all our relationships is indispensable for our well-being and spiritual growth.  #spiritualgrowth #wellbeing #emotionalhealing Share on X

Draw Near to God in Our Pain and Connect Emotionally

Every painful experience is an invitation to draw near to God, connect emotionally and spiritually, and grow our love for Him. If you want to learn how to do this, my book “Draw Near: How Painful Experiences Become the Birthplace of Blessings” is for you. Let me take you on a journey through 13 painful experiences, showing you how to find the greatest gain in each of them.

More Encouragement for You

If you need more resources, encouragement, and comfort when you go through pain, grief, and despair, I can highly recommend these books. Check them out.

The Garden Within: Where the War with Your Emotions Ends and Your Most Powerful Life Begins by Dr. Anita Phillips

The Night is Normal: A Guide Through Spiritual Pain by Dr. Alicia Britt Chole

Trusting God in All the Things: 90 Devotions for Finding Peace in Your Every Day by Karen Ehman and Ruth Schwenk

Make Up Your Mind: Unlock Your Thoughts, Transform Your Life by Denise Dubois Pass and Michelle Nietert

Life Can Be Good Again by Lisa Appelo

It’s Not Supposed to Be This Way by Lisa Terkeurst

Hope When Life Unravels: Finding God When It Hurts by Adam Dooley

Restoration Year – a 365 Days Devotional by John Eldredge

All Things New by John Eldredge

Hope for the Hard Days by Sarah Geringer

Lean into Grace by Stacey Pardoe

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Your Turn

Do you struggle with emotional disconnect? Which steps to emotional healing and wellbeing do you need to practice most? Share in the comments and on social media if you found the post helpful. Thanks! 

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