Have you had the feeling that nobody cares and that your life has no meaning and purpose? Have you felt this void in you, full of aching and longing, thirsty for unconditional love and belonging, for something stable and secure?
I felt this way in my teens. Living in an atmosphere of fear because of the abusive behavior of my father, I sank deeper into a pit of depression, self-doubt, and suicidal thoughts. By this time, I had already discovered the huge discrepancy between what I wanted to be and what I was, and my absolute inability to change my condition. I was terrified and ashamed of certain thoughts and actions that I was not able to change.
I wanted to be good, but I couldn’t. I wanted to love, but I couldn’t. A hurricane of resentment, offense, hatred, and anger raged within me, and I could not control it.Have you felt this void in you, full of aching and longing, thirsty for unconditional love and belonging, for something stable and secure? #testimony #faith Click To Tweet
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The Greatest Adventure of Faith
In utter desperation, I cried out to the universe and placed an ultimatum. “God, if you exist, I challenge you to show yourself to me. Otherwise, there is no reason for me to live anymore.”
I was looking for a way, a truth, and life. I was looking everywhere for that, hungry for something more than the eyes meet, reading books about all possible religions, only if I could touch the truth and fill the void. The country I lived in was still a communist state at that time, and my family was not religious. The only exception was my grandmother.
Sometimes, when I was a child, she would give me a small, shabby book for me to read a bit. I could not understand what I was reading. But I had a favorite part at the end of the book. Whenever I read these last chapters, my heart began to beat faster with excitement and desire. I cried in my need for Somebody who “will wipe every tear from my eyes, and for a time when there will be no more death or mourning or crying or pain, for the old order of things has passed away”. (Revelation 21:4)
God Found Me
In my most desperate time, God found me. In a series of coincidences and divine encounters and conversations with people who knew Jesus, I heard the Gospel for the first time and experienced a dramatic encounter with God and His love. The truth that I have a heavenly Father who loves me unconditionally and who will never abuse me and control me, but instead support and encourage me till the end, was a fountain of life to me. It pulled me back from the edge of the pit I was about to throw myself into and gave me meaning and a reason to live. But this was just the beginning.
Read the rest of my testimony at Heart of Flesh Literary Journal and be strengthened and encouraged.
More Testimonies and Stories of Faith
Friend, if you need more encouraging and inspiring testimonies and stories of faith, I can highly recommend these books. Check them out!
Pandemic Devotionals: How the World Overcame Fear with Faith (enLIVEn Devotional Series)
A Testimony of Voices: 100 Devotionals Rising as One (enLIVEn Devotional Series)
A Movement of Hearts: 100 Devotionals Beating as One (enLIVEn Devotional Series)
Kissing Guilt Goodbye: Breaking Free from the Shackles of Shame (enLIVEn Devotional Series)
Faith Talk: Christian Women and the Gospel by Heather Hart and contributing authors
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Do you have a testimony about how you came to faith? Share in the comments and on social media if you found this post helpful. Thanks!The truth that I have a heavenly Father who loves me unconditionally pulled me back from the edge of the pit of depression and gave me a reason to live. #testimony #faith #hope Click To Tweet
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