What to Do When Jesus Baffles You

Do you wonder what to do when Jesus baffles you?

I have a confession to make: Jesus baffles me. So often, I can’t understand His ways and timing.

The longer I am following the Lord, the more mysterious and baffling He becomes, as if the tiny box of all my thoughts and imaginations about Him is falling apart, unable to hold the reality of who He is.

What to Do When Jesus Baffles You  

But this is normal, and I am softening to accept that as long as I live on this earth, I will painfully shed illusions and gain reality. Perhaps one of the most painful ways of gaining reality is when we wrestle with the whys of unfulfilled longings and unexpected or unexplainable losses.

My first experience of feeling the full weight of the enormous gap between my thoughts and ways and God’s thoughts and ways was when God said “no” to a passionate desire and deep longing that had been burning in me for nearly a decade. 

“For my thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways my ways,” declares the Lord. “As the heavens are higher than the earth, so are my ways higher than your ways and my thoughts than your thoughts.” (Isaiah 55:8-9, NIV)

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The Spiritual Pain of Losing Our Illusions about God

My heart broke under the spiritual pain of not comprehending His thoughts, nor His ways.

Accepting God’s “no” for a good and desired thing (in my case, for a child) was a long process of wrestling to trust what I don’t understand. It opened my eyes to at least three fundamental realities:

• God is not my genie in the bottle. He is not obliged to give me what I want and consider good. He is not obliged to answer my prayers in the time and way I expect.
• God and I may have different ideas of what is good and best for me. Ouch.
• As a finite being, I don’t understand His reasons and His ways. They are too complex for me.

God is not obliged to answer my prayers in the time and way I expect. #faith #trustGod Share on X

Wrestling with the Loss of Our Expectations about God

How did you feel when God didn’t do what you expected Him to do? Did you feel abandoned, misunderstood, or unloved? Did you feel angry and disappointed with Him?

We all have felt this way if we have followed Jesus for some time. Even the first disciples felt disillusioned and perplexed, even offended by Jesus’s words, ways, and timing. This is nothing new or abnormal.

The question is, what do we do when we wrestle with the loss of our expectations about God?

Do we just get discouraged, give up, and distance ourselves from Him? Or do we take a step forward and upward, accepting this invitation to come nearer and gain more of the reality of who He is?

Our Losses Can Forge a Way for Precious Gains

We have a choice. But to make the right choice, we need to see what happens to us and in us for what it truly is. God helps us grow in knowing Him without the confining box of our specific expectations. He is working to infuse us and our faith with substance. Because substance is what matters now and for eternity.

The Lord knows how painful our losses are even more than we do. But He also knows that these losses can forge a way for precious gains with eternal implications.

Amidst the agony of my unfulfilled longing for motherhood, I realized Jesus was giving me what I prayed for and wanted more than anything: spiritual growth and deeper love for Him. I wanted and still want to grow in knowing Him and His love and to mature in my love for Him. 

He was answering this prayer through the unusual mentors of disappointment, disillusionment, and spiritual and emotional pain. Obviously, He no longer treated me as a spiritual baby or a toddler. 

God helps us grow in knowing Him without the confining box of our specific expectations.  #spiritualgrowth #trustGod #faith Share on X

The Longing to Grow and Draw Near to God

We all know how, in the beginning of our relationship with the Lord, we float in the pink balloon of romantic, kind of naïve perceptions and undisturbed joy. We have our illusions and expectations. If He loves me, He will do this and this, and this… And for a time, it seems He does. But we can’t remain infants; He beckons us deeper.

He instills us with the longing for spiritual growth, which can lead us into a season of disillusionment and spiritual pain.  

When we lose something precious, one possibility is to give up. The other is to start again. To move nearer. To ask the questions. To grieve, to cry, to pant for Him, as the deer pants for water.

We may not receive answers (or at least not complete and satisfying) to our “whys,” but what we always receive is an invitation to change by drawing near and persisting in our devotion.

We may not receive answers to our “whys,” but we will always receive an invitation to change by drawing near to God and persisting in our devotion. #spiritualgrowth #transformation #trustGod Share on X

Our Choice in the Season of Spiritual Pain  

It is our choice to love Him in and through, and despite our pain, not giving up, not bailing, moving forward and heavenward.

Let’s not become discouraged because of the failures, losses, and mistakes, but raise our heads knowing that God is refining and transforming us, while we behold Him as our ultimate reality.

“And we all, who with unveiled faces contemplate the Lord’s glory, are being transformed into his image with ever-increasing glory, which comes from the Lord, who is the Spirit.” (2 Corinthians 3:18, NIV)

I didn’t become a biological mother. But my constant decision to follow the Lord through the land of unfulfilled longings and unexpected losses corrected and changed forever my perception of Him and myself. 

Gaining God is and remains my greatest blessing.  

It is our choice to love God in and through, and despite our pain, not giving up, not bailing, moving forward and heavenward. #choice #faith #trustGod Share on X

Our Season of Pain and Disillusionment Can Draw Us Near to God

Do you know we can use our worry, anxiety, and pain to draw near to God? Learn how we can do this in my book, “Draw Near: How Painful Experiences Become the Birthplace of Blessings.”

Let me take you on a journey through 13 painful experiences, showing the precious blessings in each of them.

More Encouragement for You

If you need more resources and encouragement to help you cultivate a life of faith and trust in the seasons of pain and discouragement, I can highly recommend these books. Check them out.

Trusting God in All the Things: 90 Devotions for Finding Peace in Your Every Day by Karen Ehman and Ruth Schwenk

Transforming Your Thought Life by Sarah Geringer

Numbering Our Days:  Combating Anxiety in the Power of Small Intentional Moments by Nichole J. Suvar

Make Up Your Mind: Unlock Your Thoughts, Transform Your Life by Denise Dubois Pass and Michelle Nietert

Life Can Be Good Again by Lisa Appelo

It’s Not Supposed to Be This Way by Lisa Terkeurst

Hope When Life Unravels: Finding God When It Hurts by Adam Dooley

Restoration Year – a 365-Day Devotional by John Eldredge

The Garden Within by Dr. Anita Phillips

Hope for the Hard Days by Sarah Geringer

Lean into Grace by Stacey Pardoe

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Your Turn

Has Jesus baffled you? How have you dealt with disillusionment and spiritual pain? Share in the comments and on social media if you found this article helpful. Thank you!

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