What You Need Is Consolation, Not an Explanation

I didn’t know that this seemingly innocent Google invitation called “Rediscover this day” would throw me again in the trenches of overwhelming pain. I clicked on the link and stared into two smiling faces: my husband and me, standing on a bridge in a hug, exuding happiness, joy, and love.

Here is a sneak peek of my guest post at incourage.me reflecting on why what you need is consolation, not an explanation, when struggling with loss, grief, and pain.

To see the photo and all the happy memories it evoked felt like a stab straight into my fragile heart. This happy life was no more. Tears rolled down my cheeks, and my body shook convulsively. It hurt so much, the realization of another painful loss.

How did I end up here?

Remember to pin me for later!

What You Need Is Consolation, Not an Explanation

Now, I am living in a nightmare: a life of loneliness, without the love and support of my beloved. My hands are weary; my heart is shattered into million pieces, unraveling.

My body and soul ache. The loss of my husband initiated a continuous chain of losses: the loss of a future we planned and wanted together, the loss of my family, the loss of my way of life, the loss of the dreams we had together, the loss of the intimate fellowship with another person.

My dreams and desires seem now more distant than ever. I ask myself often, “What’s the point to keep going?” My heart longs for a settled life, for home, for a resting place to love, live and create again. I struggle to keep trusting God.

I am in the chains of grief.

We Need God More than Answers

In my anguish, I feel the gentle nudge to love Jesus in my pain and let Him comfort me. Too often we cry for understanding, tossing the “why” question, expecting that the answer will bring relief and compensate for the loss.

Not so. When we are in the midst of suffering, we rarely get answers, and honestly, we don’t need them. We need God–the consolation of His loving presence; the comfort that He understands and feels our pain; the hope and perspective of His words. We need consolation, not an explanation.

Read the rest of the post at incourage.me and be strengthened and encouraged.

Find More Comfort in These Books

Friend, if you are in a season of grief and pain, you may also want to check two of my books. The first one is the “BOOK OF COMFORTS”.

In this book you’ll find comfort when you struggle with unmet expectations, disillusionment in faith, when you are in a season of pain, when your hope diminishes, when life gets hard, and much more. Reflection questions and a guided prayer follow each devotion.

The second one is Draw Near: How Painful Experiences Become the Birthplace of Blessings. The book aims to help the readers not only to identify and accept their losses but more importantly to show them that each painful experience could be a birthing place of specific gains, benefits, and blessings.


Additionally, I can recommend highly these books. They have helped me tremendously in processing my grief. Check them out.

The Grief Guidebook: Common Questions, Compassionate Answers, Practical Suggestions by Gary Roe

Widowed Walk: Experiencing God After the Loss of a Spouse by Gary Roe

Comfort for the Grieving Spouse’s Heart: Hope and Healing After Losing Your Partner by Gary Roe

A Grace Disguised: How the Soul Grows through Loss by Jerry L. Sittser

A Grace Revealed: How God Redeems the Story of Your Life by Jerrry L. Sittser

Your Turn

Where do you need consolation in your life right now? What steps can you take to receive it? Share in the comments. If you found this post helpful, share it on social media to bless others. Thank you!

Looking for more encouragement? Sign up here to receive free notes from (in)courage, delivered daily to your inbox!

In my anguish, I feel the gentle nudge to love Jesus in my pain and let Him comfort me. @incourage #comfort #grief #loss Click To Tweet In the midst of suffering we need God–the consolation of His loving presence; the comfort that He understands and feels our pain; the hope and perspective of His words. @incourage #suffering #encouragement #hope Click To Tweet

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10 Replies to “What You Need Is Consolation, Not an Explanation”

  1. Grief is a terrible burden, but I know a saying that translates something like this from Romanian: God only gives you what you can carry. Everything happens for a reason – and we might get to know it or not, or perhaps not in this life. But I am a firm believer in reincarnation. The soul is eternal, and I like to think that we will always find the way back to those we loved in this life and others.
    I read your post on in, and I was moved by how many people responded and the way they responded. Opening up like this about your own experiences can prove to be a lifeline to so many. You are very special!

    1. Thanks so much for your kind and encouraging words, Mihaela! Yes, I know this saying – we have it in Bulgarian too!:) As a Christian, I also believe that we are spiritual beings that are destined to live forever. The immaterial part of us does not die. Because of Christ resurrecton I have a great hope and can mourn with hope. I think death and grief are important topics that resonate with a lot of people and it is good to talk about that.

  2. Thanks for sharing your story, Hadassah. I was tearing up while I read, yet also felt greatly encouraged and inspired. May God continue to comfort you as you continue on your journey.

  3. God’s presence is so reassuring. It’s so comforting to know that He is always there, no matter what we are going through. I’m so sorry for your pain. Thank you for sharing your heart.

    1. Thanks for your kind words, Lisa! Yes, God’s presence with us in our pains and suffering, brings great comfort.

  4. What a touching yet powerful story of God’s love. I read the rest of it on Incourage.me
    When difficult times come our first response is usually why but God is the master planner and He doesn’t make a mistake.

    1. Thanks so much, Hannah! I love this: God is the master planner and He doesn’t make mistakes. So true! Blessings to you!

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